When you think herringbone you probably think—well if you’re like most people you probably think—‘Fabric.’ While you wouldn’t be wrong, herringbone, like all people and things worth knowing, has got a little history. And by that we mean, a little baggage.
Since you’re not dating herringbone, this is totally fine.
If nothing else, it gives you something to talk about at parties when people ask you about the killer shirt you’re wearing.
Instead of simply saying, “Hey yeah thanks, it’s some fabric!” You’ll be able to swirl your martini glass and say, “Herringbone, actually, very common in twill or tweed weaves.” When knees have stopped knocking together at your sartorial prowess, here’s what will happen next:
“W-hy,” a still woman party-goer will ask, “W-why is it called herringbone?”
At this point in time, feel free to live the dream and do your best Humphrey Bogart, “Well doll…” (regardless of gender calling someone doll in the manner of Humphrey Bogart is universally hilarious and awesome).
Next you’ll say, “Notice how the weave itself is a v-shaped formation? Come on, don’t be shy, take another step over here and get a real good look.” At that point, the whole room will fall silent as a throng of smitten folks will step towards your custom made herringbone shirt. You’ll whisper over your glass or perhaps after taking a drag on your cigar (if that’s what you’re into), “Back in the day, they thought these v-shaped weave patterns looked like little fish bones—herringbones, if you will.”
(kinda like fish bones—right…?)
At the mention of bones you will immediately earn all manner of street cred. Not only will those with a passion or sartorial history bow before your superior knowledge, but even the Goth gang’s hearts will go pitter-pat when you whip out the word ‘bones.’
And the notoriously hard please fashionistas won’t care one way or the other—they’ll just be thrilled you’re wearing a unique product tailor-made to suit you. Well played, Mr. Bogart well played.
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